Shawna'sea (skasmurf) wrote in g_ad,

New Member.

So.. I have self-diagnosed myself with GAD. I currently have no insurance plan and I don't really know how doctors handle these kinds of things anyway. Luckily, i have been managing with it, thus far. I was hoping to get some of your opinions.. Since you folks have more knowledge about GAD.. Is this the same kind of stuff you guys put up with? :

Generally I suffer from anxiety directly related to stress. When I first started having this problem was when I had just moved cross-country and started a new job in a small town. I was hired as a sales associate at a major department store. I started to stress for many reasons. The small town we moved to, is.. well. Kind of a joke. Which means the department store I worked at, performed poorly and pay rates are directly related to making your sales quota, which I never did make. After three-months an associate is due for their review, and if they didn't make their quota they could expect a major pay-cut. This made other sales associates highly competitive with each other, which made the sales floor high-strung, and overrun with pushy sales people. Overall, a nasty work environment. Needless to say, I was anxious all the time. THINKING about going to work in the morning made my stomache hurt. On more than one occasion I felt light-headed and passed out behind the register, and generally, I felt like I was trying to breathe on mars.. every day. I also started to suffer from IBS, (again, self diagnosing) but it made me physically sick, almost every day, for three months.. right until my review... Which of course, led me to quit.

I have been working in property management for over a year now. More specifically, I am the assistant manager of a large apartment complex. I have been doing relatively well here. Currently, however, I am running this property by myself. My boss picked up and quit two weeks ago and I have been struggling to make it to work at all. Which is HORRIBLE because my company needs me more now that I'm covering for both of us. I feel overwhelmed frequently. And that feeling manifests itself physically, EVERYDAY. But thats just the normal stuff.. There are extremes too.. for example..

My worst experience was a few years back when I was exiting a concert venue by means of an underground tunnel. There was literally a thousand people walking through this tunnel at the same time and I had a panic attack. I'm not generally anxious by crowds or social settings, but the few times I have felt anxious I have been able to look up and focus on the sky.. It would help me to breathe deeper and escape the situation, calmly. Which is why the tunnel situation was so horrifying. Having the celing of the tunnel block my view made me completely freak out. I was hyperventilating and screaming and shaking.. My body wanted to run, but we were so jam-packed with other concert-goers that there really was no where to run. My then-boyfriend had to put my head in his chest and cover me with his jacket, which actually freaked me out more. He began to yell and managed to have the people in front of us move to the side slightly so that we could get out of the tunnel.

That was about four years ago.. I still don't go to big concerts anymore.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? Does it sound like GAD? Or am I just stressing out entirely too much? Sometimes its not even something major. Talking on the phone with my mother will make me panic, and I have a relitively good relationship with my mom.. I just can't handle.. anything. Anymore.

I'm scared, because all of my physical anxiety started after college. I will be attending school again for my second degree starting next week. And I'm concerned because I'm not sure if I just "became" anxious in recent years, or if it something that was always there, but i had never dealt with because I was happier and more confident with education than I have ever been in "the real world". Does that even make sense? Gah.. Maybe I just need to bite the bullet and get insurance, so a doctor can help me, instead of a plethra of LJ & Myspace groups.

sigh.. help.
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You say your job is a major source of stress for you, which is making your anxiety worse. Maybe you should get a less stressful job? Maybe the extra anxiety is your brain's way of telling you to slow down a bit. I think in your situation, learning how to manage your stress would help a lot more than any anti-anxiety meds could.
I definitely agree, I don't think meds are necessary in my situation.

Jobs? eh. I've tried changing jobs twice now. It's really not that easy. I haven't been able to find anything that pays even close to what I need to support our family, comfortably. I'm married, I live 1500 miles away from my parents.. I'm not at the age where I can just move in with mom & pops until I can pay my bills solo again.

I agree, I do need to learn how to manage stress better. I'm working on it. Diet & Exercise are the two things that help me to let go after work.. But then my phone rings, and I have a flood downtown, and bam, I'm back to work all over again. It really blows.

No, I agree with above person lots. Both jobs sound horrible. The first one put you in an ultracompetitive environment which you're clearly not suited to and you shouldn't feel bad about that because not everybody is and those who aren't work better in cooperative environments anyway. The second seems to have put you in a situation where you're unprepared for additional responsibility for which they're not paying you and didn't train you for. They're both situations that set you up for failure and involve employers treating you with contempt. Don't buy into that "you'd cope if you were any good" crap because it's not true. Crap situations = crap results.
I agree about the whole job thing... GET OUT. If the job is a major source of stress, no amount of personal management is going to help that.

I was stuck in the same cycle for a long time, very stressful jobs, going from one to the other, thinking it was all about me. I even found out that I didn't really have GAD like I thought I did... I was just stressed and seriously unchallenged at my work.

I spoke with a councelor and she helped me quite a bit. She suggested I actually bite the bullet and go back to school, to see if the challenge of the classes I always wanted to take but was afraid of would help me.

By god, it was the BEST decision I've ever made to take her advice. I'm so much happier now that I'm doing what I WANT, instead of what I always thought I should be doing. I'm so glad that I'm not ignoring my feelings for the sake of an income.

You never know what you might come up with... trying and failing is better than staying and wishing you hadn't...